SONIA KUMAR: VANITY IS NOT VAIN By Mihir Srivastava

Sonia Kumar has just turned 80 in style. Age has ripened her like an old wine. She has a charming persona and a bold demeanour. It's understandable when she's often asked by an intrigued passerby, on this occasion while walking a busy street of New York, ‘are you dressed for a wedding?’

Sajna hai mujhe apne liye (I dress up for myself). “That’s my real self,” she says. Always, dons a saree, be it in India or elsewhere, in natural fabrics, georgette and chiffon, never synthetic. During the day, she prefers printed sarees; in the evenings something more formal–the embroidered sarees.   

Sonia stands out not just because she’s attired in bright sarees, with striking motifs, a conspicuous hairdo or a bold maquillage, but because she is celebrating life like very would dare to. In a worldly sense, she’s quite liberated, and demonstratively so. 

She is extremely confident, sure of herself in a charming way, and has the gumption to carry herself with aplomb, and still can appreciate the larger picture, nuances of life, and engage with people of various nationalities without any qualms. She is a humanist with an evolved sense of humour, embodies gregariousness that’s captivating and fascinating at the same time.  "My mother was a beautiful woman," she says. And, I feel, she relives her beauty in some measure. 

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It’s great to be a stunning self. It's easier said than done, not to let age and changing circumstances interfere in the way she has lived all her life, It's more than commendable. While Sonia easily mingles with people, she holds her own. This carefree attitude is carefully honed over years of practice. She talks her mind without filters, and is unmarred by judgemental eyes. 

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Sonia considers herself blessed, and faith to her, in God and her Gurus, is a great driving force. Because she’s so sure in herself is what makes her open up to the world. Her glamorous presence is an icebreaker. An integral part of Delhi’s haut monde, she has many friends. She follows their life, keeps her engaged, and, in the process, she has created a significant story of her own. 

She is in control, the fanfare hasn’t led her to lose a semblance of balance, she is a lambi race ki ghodi. While she easily mingles with people, holds her own, strong and clear, all over the world. This carefree attitude is carefully honed over years of practice. She talks her mind without filters, and is unmarred by judgemental eyes. 

I met Sonia at her ethnic wear boutique–Silver Tulip in Defence Colony. She has been running it for a good forty years. I told her, ‘you’re the best model of your products.’ She betrayed a smile.

Sonia comes here everyday, between 11 am and 7 pm. Of course, she steps out for luncheons, and chit-chat with friends over coffee, to Delhi Gymkhana or Delhi Golf Course, neither of the two is too far from her boutique.    

When I asked her to describe herself in a few lines, Sonia said with a certain casual assertiveness, “I’m a go-getter. Always have my way. I achieved what I desired, because I put my heart into it. I’m very friendly by nature.” 

A daughter of an army officer, she married an army officer, Colonel Surinder Kumar, is a mother of two girls who now have grown up children. Sonia made her mind to start a boutique in the mid 1980s, it was unheard of in her family where most were serving in the defence forces. Her father was opposed to the idea but her husband was very supportive.

She started the store in 1986, and without much ado organised her first exhibition in New York. She met an American woman in Delhi, they hit it off, shared their business ideas, they shared their exhaustive mailing list, and an exhibition was organised in New York on a revenue sharing basis. It was a great beginning and she never looked back, since she has organised dozens of exhibitions all over the world. She is one of the very first to have popularized Indian ethnic wear all over the world. 

Sonia’s husband was her ardent supporter, and he took good care of her to the extent ‘he spoiled me,’ says Sonia. They’d host many parties, well attended by friends of varied interests.  After he left for heavenly abode a few years ago, she misses him a lot, in every aspect of her life. Yet, she continues to live her quintessential way, in this regard, not much has changed.   

They travelled together all over the world. The only thing that irritated him was the excess baggage. One time, they were returning after an exhibition with models and the whole entourage, and an excess baggage by 200 kilograms. This was Amsterdam. The airline, justifiably so, imposed a hefty fine. 

Sonia walked up to the counter and engaged in a conversation with a senior airline personnel, a woman. She explained what she does, why she is here, and the situation at hand, without actually asking her to forfeit the extra baggage fee. The airline personnel, even before the conversation was over, passed the luggage without charging an extra penny. 

That’s what charm is all about, and the power of a heartfelt conversation, where a witness becomes a sort of participant, rather than seeking a favour, one seeks empathy. Things find a way to happen around her. 

Though she wears saree all the time, I feel she’s the best of the two worlds–ethnic and contemporary, the East and the West. Her blouses are very unique, usually spaghetti strapped, hanging low on her shoulder. Jewellery and accessories to match–she has an enviable collection. She keeps two sets of clothes ready before she dresses up, and picks any one randomly. I thought the way she wears a saree is vogue, like an evening dress with folds and frills.

It’s great to be a stunning self. It's easier said than done, not to let age–which is just a number– and changing circumstances interfere in the way she has lived all her life. It's more than commendable. She takes good care of herself, visits a salon de beauté twice a week.

The idea is to savour life, enjoy, embrace and live it to the fullest. The best way to do all of this is to celebrate oneself. This you don’t owe it to anyone else but your own self. Vanity is not vain, always. She is a good example.